Sumary of The author who popularized attachment theory says he’d be more empathetic to avoidant attachment styles if he wrote his book today:
- “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment, and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love,” by Levine and co-author psychologist Rachel Heller, was published in December 2010 after Levine saw a research study that linked adults’ romantic relationship behaviors to their behaviors as children interacting with their parents.
- Photographer Sarah Bahbah created a viral visual series inspired by what she learned from “Attached.
- Avoidants are often overlooked because society values hyper-independenceAccording to New York City-based therapist Rachel Wright, avoidant attachment is more misunderstood than anxious attachment because of society’s focus on independence.
- While anxious attachment may manifest as appeasing a loved one or staying quiet about your needs due to fear of abandonment, avoidant attachment is more complex to explain, Wright told Insider.
- they’re afraid of being too vulnerable and feeling smothered, according to Wright.
- “They’re protecting themselves by not becoming ‘too intimate’ or feeling suffocated, and tend to present as very independent people,” Wright said.
- Boiling that concept down to a TikTok video is much harder than the straightforward “Anxious attachment stems from fear of abandonment” explanation seen on social media, said Wright.
- Since our society values independence, avoidantly attached folks may be praised for their guarded nature, even if they find it personally draining, according to Wright.